We Tenacious Beams exist to stir up hope and wholehearted living in ordinary people much like ourselves. We do this from a near-constant state of survival mode, as we are the surviving members of a family who’s one man short thanks to childhood cancer. Our Tenacious John battled neuroblastoma from June 2016 until the day he met Jesus, October 17, 2018. He never lost hope and we can only call ourselves tenacious because we learned from him. This space is devoted to talking about cancer and death and suffering and grief and mourning, but it’s not altogether sad. We grieve with hope.
My current real-life hero (now that John is gone) is John’s daddy. His name is Josh. He teaches seventh grade kids by day and holds our household together by night (remember, survival mode). Nothing I type could ever do him justice.
Ben is our middle son. He was John’s very best friend who faithfully bore many burdens by his side. As a result, Ben is and will be a good one. We are so grateful that he doesn’t have cancer, so maybe we can see exactly who he will grow to become.
I am Ashley, the one who writes. When I write, it feels like I can breathe. Because I struggle to catch my breath multiple times a day in this new life after loss, we decided to create space for me to write.
Nathan was born exactly one year after John’s funeral. Nate’s life has been weird. He was born into a grieving family just prior to a worldwide pandemic, but he takes it all in stride: our happy boy! We feel grateful every day that Nathan joined our family.
Luke joined us in 2022, likely completing our incomplete family. He is proving to me that I am capable of showing up for my family in the way I did before John died.
I decided to name this space, “The Tenacious Beams,” because I can’t really explain why I am who I am apart from my family. Sons (and especially sons with stage IV cancer) are awesome tools whom God uses to mold His little daughters like me, that we might look a bit more like Jesus.
I adore Jesus. I’ve decided He’s good, therefore, Lord and Leader of my life. I spend time with Jesus each day – the best way I know how – in the Bible and in prayer. (I have no other plan for surviving life.) Because of my love for Jesus, I am also a tad obsessed with the Holy Spirit; He’s the One I want steering this ship. Holy Spirit leads me to care deeply about some things (i.e. motherhood, books/actually reading the books, helping women grow in faith, Heaven=Home, etc.). You’ll see me write regularly about these things. There are many other valuable roads down which Holy Spirit has never led me. For this reason, I’m grateful for others who will become/are my teachers.
I feel so grateful that you would pay us a visit online today. I hope that you are genuinely encouraged to walk with tenacity the wonderful (likely brutally hard) life which God has lovingly planned for you. May we all grab a few friends along the road as we take the long way to our true home, Heaven.
See you soon, John. All of this is in your memory and for Jesus.